Original Airdate 9/23/2004
Written by Tracy Poust & Jon Kinnally
Directed by James Burrows
Transcript by Rob Durfee
Eric McCormack (Will Truman)
Debra Messing (Grace Adler)
Sean Hayes (Jack McFarland)
Megan Mullally (Karen Walker)
Janet Jackson (Herself)
Bobby Cannavale (Vince)
Will Arnett (Artemus Johnson)
Steve Ryan (Lieutenant)
Andrew Ableson (Choreographer)
SCENE I: Will's Apartment
[THE LIGHTS ARE OUT. QUIET NOISES ARE HEARD FROM THE KITCHEN.]
[WILL EXITS HIS BEDROOM.]
[WILL TURNS ON THE LIGHT. GRACE JUMPS AND SCREAMS.]
[GRACE SCREAMS LOUDER.]
WILL: [GASPS] What?
[GRACE LOOKS AT WILL: HE IS WEARING A LONG AND SILKY NIGHTSHIRT.]
GRACE: Why are you wearing that? So that even people in your dreams know you're gay?
WILL: Hey. All day long my calves are suffocated by pants. Nighttime is-- is their time. What are you doing?
GRACE: I can't sleep. Look what I found.
[GRACE HOLDS UP A BOOK.]
WILL: It's called a book, Grace. We keep them in the den to seem smart.
GRACE: No. The flower.
[GRACE OPENS UP THE BOOK AND PULLS OUT A DRIED FLOWER.]
GRACE: Leo bought this for me on our second date. I felt so bad I didn't get him anything, I put out.
WILL: God, you'll do anything to save a buck.
GRACE: I can't believe my marriage is over. What's gonna happen to us, Will? We're just gonna end up two old spinsters rotting away in this apartment, bickering over who peed on the sofa.
WILL: Look, first of all--
WILL: We both know who peed on the sofa. Okay? And second, I have a boyfriend.
GRACE: [SCOFFS] You and Vince are so lucky. You will never know the pain of divorce.
WILL: Well, that's 'cause we're legally barred from the joy of marriage.
[JACK SHUFFLES INTO THE APARTMENT. HE HAS AN EYE MASK ON TOP OF HIS HEAD. HE IS WEARING THE SAME NIGHTSHIRT AS WILL.]
JACK: It's 3:00 AM! What the ham samwich is going on?
WILL: [POINTING AT JACK'S NIGHTSHIRT] What are you--
JACK: What am I--?! What are you--?! Take that off!
WILL: You take it off! I wore it to bed before you.
JACK: This is humiliating. You coulda had the decency to at least call me.
WILL: I did! I left a message! I said, "Jack, I'm wearing a nightshirt."
GRACE: You check in about your sleepwear?
WILL: Yeah. And why we bother is a mystery to me.
JACK: Look, just keep it down, okay? Tomorrow is my first rehearsal as backup dancer with one Miss Janet Jackson. I need to be in control. [SNAPS HIS FINGERS.] You know how huge that is? There isn't one person in this room who hasn't had anonymous sex to her music.
[WILL AND GRACE THINK FOR A SECOND.]
WILL AND GRACE: [TOGETHER] He's right.
SCENE II: Dance Rehearsal
[JACK AND KAREN ENTER THE ROOM.]
JACK: Hey, thanks for walking me to rehearsal. So, why don't you stick around, Karen? I'll introduce you to Janet Jackson.
KAREN: Oh, that would be fantastic. You know, Rosario wants to get her autograph. She's a huge Janet Jackson fan. Or was that Jesse Jackson? Which one ran for president?
JACK: [THINKS FOR A BIT] I do not know.
KAREN: You know what? I've gotta find the ladies' room. It's true what they say: You don't buy tequila. You rent it.
[KAREN EXITS THE ROOM.]
[JACK WALKS OVER TO THE OTHER DANCERS. ONE OF THE DANCERS, AN "OLDER" GUY IN HIS 30'S, APPROACHES JACK.]
ARTEMUS: Hello. You must be the newbie.
JACK: If that means do I shave down there, yes. Hi, I'm Jack McFarland.
ARTEMUS: Artemus Johnson.
[JACK AND ARTEMUS SHAKE HANDS.]
ARTEMUS: And if you don't mind my saying, uh, you seem a little old for a dancer. Miss Jackson doesn't like her dancers old.
JACK: How old are you?
JACK: I'm 21.
ARTEMUS: I'm 20. I was born in 196-- 7-- 84.
[JANET'S CHOREOGRAPHER ENTERS WITH A CD PLAYER.]
CHOREOGRAPHER: [WITH BRITISH ACCENT] Okay, dancers. Janet's coming. And please, don't make a big fuss. It's not her style.
[THE CHOREOGRAPHER PUSHES "PLAY" ON THE CD PLAYER. THE OPENING BEATS TO "PLEASURE PRINCIPLE" START AS THE LIGHTS GO OUT.]
[SMOKE FILLS THE DOORWAY AS IT IS LIT. JANET JACKSON ENTERS AND POSES IN THE DOOR FRAME.]
[THE MUSIC STOPS AND THE LIGHTS COME BACK ON.]
JACK: [TO JANET] Hey, great entrance.
JANET: Thank you. It costs a little extra, but I make up for it by having all of you guys pay for your own costumes.
JACK: Hi, Miss Jackson. I'm Jack McFarland. I am dancer number 6.
[JANET SHAKES JACK'S HAND.]
JANET: Oh, you're the newbie.
JACK: Oh, God, I gotta start closing the door in my dressing room.
JANET: [TO THE CHOREOGRAPHER] Uh, can you start the music... British guy?
[THE SIX DANCERS TAKE THEIR PLACES AROUND JANET.]
CHOREOGRAPHER: Okay, follow me! And five, six, seven--
[THE CHOREGRAPHER STARTS THE MUSIC: "PLEASURE PRINCIPLE".]
[THE CHOREOGRAPHER TURNS OFF THE MUSIC.]
JANET: Can you say that again?
CHOREOGRAPHER: Five, six, seven, eight?
JANET: No, just the first part.
JANET: Five. That's it. You know, I feel this connection between Jackson and five. I don't know what it is. But, it--it's powerful, you know. It's--Five is a very mystical number.
JACK: Uh, this is true, Miss Jackson. It is the number of fingers on one hand and the number of people in a ménage à trois.
JANET: I think I want five dancers instead of six. Which means one of you has to go.
ARTEMUS: [UNDER HIS BREATH] Fire the new guy. Who said that? Shut up, Kent. Break it up, fellas.
JACK: Fire the guy who's been here the longest. Shut up, Jack! You shut up, Jack! Come on, guys. Take it outside.
JANET: I think I know what we have to do. We have to have a dance-off.
DANCERS: [ALL MUTTERING] Dance-off? Dance-off!
JANET: Between the new guy, and the guy who's been here the longest.
DANCERS: [ALL MUTTERING] The guy who's been here the longest!
ARTEMUS: Don't you think, that it's a little unfair to judge us solely on our dancing ability?
JACK: [MUTTERING ALONE] Dancing ability, dancing ability, dan-- Oh, we're not doing that? Okay, sorry.
SCENE III: Central Park
[WILL AND HIS BOYFRIEND VINCE ARE JOGGING. WILL IS WEARING A PURPLE SUEDE SWEAT SUIT. VINCE IS WEARING A BLACK T-SHIRT AND BLACK SHORTS.]
[VINCE IS A BIT A HEAD OF WILL, WHO SITS DOWN ON A BENCH TO CATCH HIS BREATH.]
[VINCE JOGS BACK TO WILL.]
VINCE: Whoa... What happened? I'm like a mile away, tellin' some lady next to me I'm gonna make a lasagna tonight. She was wearing the same outfit.
[VINCE PULLS WILL UP FROM THE BENCH.]
VINCE: Come on, Truman. I wanna make that 3:00 movie.
WILL: I'm sorry, I up all night with Grace and--
[WILL'S CELL PHONE RINGS.]
WILL: [ANSWERING PHONE] Hello, Grace.
GRACE: [INTO PHONE] Will, I need to talk. Why?
WILL: [INTO PHONE] What happened? Are you okay?
GRACE: [INTO PHONE] I was cleaning out my closet and I found one of Leo's old shirts.
WILL: [INTO PHONE] Oh, no. Not the super-soft NYU med school one that could double as a shorty nighty?
GRACE: [INTO PHONE] Yeah. That's the-- What?
WILL: [INTO PHONE] The point is, you're upset and you've gotta get rid of that thing. So wrap it in tissue and put it in my cedar chest. I'll be right home.
[WILL HANGS UP THE PHONE.]
WILL: [TO VINCE] I'm sorry, I gotta go. I can't go to the movie. Grace is just having a really--
VINCE: It's okay. It's okay. She's going through a rough time. I like that you're a good friend. See you tomorrow at lunch.
WILL: Yeah-- Wha-- Lunch?
VINCE: With my lieutenant. I told you, like, 10 times.
WILL: Oh, can't we get out of that? You said the guy's a racist homophobe.
VINCE: And an anti-Semite. It just doesn't come up much 'cause there are no Jewish cops or perps. It my boss, Will. It's important.
WILL: Well, if it's important to you, it's important to me.
[WILL'S CELL PHONE RINGS.]
WILL: [ANSWERS PHONE, ANNOYED] What, Grace?
[VINCE QUIETLY SAYS "BYE" AND JOGS OFF.]
WILL: [INTO PHONE] I am not wearing your sweatsuit. Yours is lavender.
SCENE IV: The Dance Reheasal
JACK: God, Karen, I'm so nervous. I haven't had a dance-off since highschool. Well, it wasn't so much a dance-off as I was beaten up by the football team. But I still danced my heart out.
KAREN: Honey... It's memories like that those football player will treasure forever.
[ARTEMUS ENTERS, LIMPING.]
ARTEMUS: Oh, God. My knee. I can hardly walk. Luckily, I don't have to walk. I just have to dance. [TO JACK] You're goin' down, newbie!
JACK: Actually, I'm lettin' it grow out.
KAREN: Why, Artemus Johnson...
ARTEMUS: Hello, Karen.
KAREN: Well, well, well. It's been a long time.
ARTEMUS: 12 years to be exact.
KAREN: Seattle, 1992. We met at the Space Needle. Unquestionably our country's greatest needle. It started to rain. And we started to make love. Ha ha. The rest passed like a dream. Taking the monorail to Seahawks and Sonics games, watching them throw fish at Pike Place Market. Sipping lattes at the original Starbucks.
ARTEMUS: Yes, it was quite a day, wasn't it?
JACK: Wait. My dance-off opponent was your former lover? What a twist. I did not see that coming.
SCENE V: Will's Apartment
[GRACE IS SITTING ON THE LOVE SEAT WATCHING TELEVISION. SHE IS IN HER PAJAMAS, WRAPPED IN A BLANKET.]
[WILL WALKS TO THE KITCHEN.]
GRACE: This show is so sad.
WILL: What are you watching?
GRACE: My wedding video. Look, there's Leo and me holding hands. Look how happy and beautiful I was. [SNIFFS] Now all I have is my beauty. My saaaad beauty.
WILL: Why are you watching this?
GRACE: Well, how could I not? It's on all the time! Come on, come on. Watch with me.
[GRACE PULLS WILL ONTO THE COUCH WITH HER.]
GRACE: Let's see if we can spot the moment where Leo checked out of the marriage.
WILL: Yeah, it sounds like fun. I'm running late.
[WILL GETS UP FROM THE COUCH.]
WILL: Got lunch with my gay cop boyfriend's homophobic lieutenant. I know I've used that like, 100 times, but this time I really mean it.
GRACE: You know, this is really bad timing. You getting involved with someone while I'm going through all this.
WILL: You're right. This is worse than when I arranged to have my grandmother die the day you wanted to see the Lizzie Maguire movie.
GRACE: Can you at least stay five more minutes?
WILL: What do you need me for? You're just sitting around, picking at a scab.
GRACE: I cut myself shaving three weeks ago and it still hasn't healed!
WILL: Not that scab! The emotional sc-- Oh, never mind! I gotta go.
GRACE: Fine, don't let me keep you.
[GRACE SITS BACK DOWN AND WATCHES THE VIDEO.]
GRACE: Wow, your hair looked good that day.
[WILL WALKS BACK TO LOOK AT THE VIDEO.]
WILL: You know the secret? I got it cut exactly two weeks before the wedding. And it-- No, n-n-no. Nice try!
[WILL EXITS THE APARTMENT, LEAVING GRACE SITTING ON THE LOVE SEAT POUTING.]
SCENE VI: The Dance Rehearsal
[JACK WALKS INTO THE DRESSING ROOM.]
JACK: You guys, did I leave my Lady Schick--
[ARTEMUS IS SITTING ON THE SOFA, SMOKING A CIGARETTE. KAREN IS BUTTONING UP HER BLOUSE.]
JACK: What the--!
KAREN: That's right, Jackie. We're back together.
ARTEMUS: Like a Sicilian woman's eyebrows, we cannot be kept apart.
JACK: [TO KAREN] How could you do this, Karen? How could you with Artemus, my archnemesis? It's worse than that time you slept with Fievel... My arch-rival.
KAREN: Okay, calm down. Listen to me. This is not going to affect you, or the dance-off. Shh, okay. Now. I need you to let Artemus win the dance-off. Okay?
JACK: What? Are you asking to throw the dance? That's like asking Einstein to throw the-- Wait, who's Einstein, again?
ARTEMUS: I agree with Jack. I prefer to let the best man win. [TO JACK] Let me win, please! Come on, let me win. I'm old.
JACK: I'm old, too.
ARTEMUS: I'm 33.
JACK: I'm 35.
ARTEMUS: I'm 40.
JACK: I'm 20.
ARTEMUS: I'm 19. Game on! Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go call my daughter, who just graduated from law school today.
[ARTEMUS EXITS THE DRESSING ROOM.]
KAREN: Jackie, please? Let him win. Without this job, he's got nothing. Besides, I love him!
[KAREN THROWS HERSELF ONTO THE SOFA, WEEPING.]
JACK: You don't love him! He's just a rebound guy.
KAREN: I resent that! I am vulnerable. And this is the first man that I have been with since my marriage failed, who has allowed me to come back-- rebound, if you will-- from all that pain. So how dare you imply some sort of "rebound guy."
JACK: Fine! But I still won't throw the dance. I wouldn't do it for 30 football players pushing my face into the gym floor, and I won't do it for you!
SCENE VII: A Restaurant
[WILL AND VINCE ARE EATING LUNCH WITH VINCE'S BOSS. VINCE AND THE LIEUTENANT ARE BOTH WEARING THEIR OFFICER'S UNIFORMS.]
[VINCE IS LISTENING TO HIS BOSS RATTLE ON. WILL IS PLAYING WITH HIS CELL PHONE.]
LIEUTENANT: Yeah, they got me doin' this sensitivity training. At first, I wasn't sure about it, but, uh, it's been eye-opening.
VINCE: [QUIETLY TO WILL] Pay attention.
WILL: I am.
LIEUTENANT: Like, did you know you're not supposed to say the word "Oriental" anymore? It's considered disparaging. Unless you're talking about a rug. Made by an Oriental. [LAUGHS] Ha ha ha ha!
VINCE: [QUIETLY TO WILL] Enough with the phone already.
WILL: I'm sorry. Grace and I had a fi-- Never mind.
LIEUTENANT: You know what else is not popular all of a sudden? "Wop".
WILL: Yeah, it's a shame so many racial epithets have fallen out since the civil rights movement.
[WILL LOOKS AT HIS CELL PHONE AND GETS UP FROM THE TABLE.]
WILL: Excuse me.
LIEUTENANT: Aw, me and my big mouth. [TO VINCE] Please tell me he's not a Guinea.
VINCE: No, sir. He's not. But for what it's worth, I am.
WILL: [INTO PHONE] Hey.
GRACE: [VOICE OVER THE PHONE] Hey.
WILL: [INTO PHONE] I'm sorry.
GRACE: [VOICE OVER THE PHONE] Me too. You know what? You may be right. I think I'm making things worse.
WILL: Oh, sweetie. [PAUSES] I hear rustling. Is-- Are you wearing your wedding dress?
[CUT TO WILL'S APARTMENT. GRACE IS SITTING ON THE SOFA WEARING HER WEDDING VEIL.]
GRACE: [INTO PHONE] No, just the veil.
WILL: [INTO PHONE] For God's sake, Grace!
[CUT BACK TO WILL IN THE RESTAURANT.]
WILL: [INTO PHONE] Take that off and put it back in my closet! Look, I gotta go. Just, just-- Remember, that jerk cheated on you and you are better off alone.
[WILL HANGS UP AS VINCE WALKS UP.]
VINCE: [ANNOYED] What are you doing? I'm stuck in there, listening to him talk about how he's learning to love his mulatto bastard grandchild.
WILL: I'm sorry, I had to talk to Grace.
VINCE: Right. 'Cause we're having lunch from 1:00 to 2:00, which only leaves you 23 hours to catch up on her problems. What about me, Will? You know, this is a relation-ship. When one of the crew goes overboard, the ship sinks.
WILL: No, it doesn't. That's a terrible metaphor.
VINCE: You're a terrible metaphor.
WILL: That's a comeback?
VINCE: [LOUDLY] You're a comeback!
WILL: [CALMLY] Come on.
[WILL LEADS VINCE BACK TO THE TABLE.]
WILL: I won't call her anymore. We talked, I told her she's better off alone.
VINCE: "Better off alone"? See that in a lot of suicide notes. [CHUCKLES.]
WILL: Oh, my God!
[WILL JUMPS UP.]
WILL: [TO THE LIEUTENANT] I'm sorry. I just-- How can I put in words you'll understand... There's a Hebe in trouble.
[WILL QUICKLY EXITS THE RESTAURANT.]
SCENE VIII: The Dance Rehearsal
[JACK, ARTEMUS, JANET JACKSON, AND THE OTHER 4 DANCERS ARE ABOUT TO START THE DANCE-OFF.]
JANET: Welcome to Dance-Off 2004. Sponsored by Pennzoil. Now. We're gonna do our standard routine. I'll step out. You two freestyle. Now, during that time, you're not allow to do this... [JANET DOES A DANCE MOVE]
JANET: Okay? Or this... [JANET DOES A DANCE MOVE]
JANET: Or this... [JANET DOES A DANCE MOVE]
[BOTH JACK AND ARTEMUS SIGH.]
JANET: But you can do this... [JANET DOES A DANCE MOVE]
JANET: And you have to give meat least two of these... [JANET DOES A DANCE MOVE]
CHOREOGRAPHER: Okay. Places, people. And...
[THE CHOREOGRAPHER STARTS THE MUSIC: "PLEASURE PRINCIPLE."]
JANET: Five, six, seven, eight.
[JANET, ARTEMUS, AND JACK DANCE THE "PLEASURE PRINCIPLE" ROUTINE TOGETHER.]
CHOREOGRAPHER: All right, now, everybody join in.
[THE OTHER DANCERS JOIN IN THE ROUTINE. KAREN JUMPS NEXT TO JACK AND DOES THE ROUTINE AS WELL.]
KAREN: Please, Jackie, do it for me!
JACK: Karen, what are you doing here?
KAREN: Come on, Jackie! I love him. Ooh, here comes the change up!
JACK: Get off the dance floor!
[JACK GRABS KAREN BY THE WRIST AND PULLS HER OFF THE DANCE FLOOR.]
JANET: Freestyle. Jack, you go first.
[JACK DANCES BY HIMSELF AS JANET AND THE CHOREOGRPHER LOOK ON.]
[ARTEMUS TAKES HIS TURN, DOING A CLUMSY "ROBOT". KAREN GIVES HIM A THUMBS UP.]
[JACK TAKES HIS NEXT TURN.]
[ARTEMUS TRIES SOME BREAKDANCE MOVES.]
[JACK TAKES HIS TURN.]
KAREN: Oh, Jackie. Jackie, please. Please! I love my rebound guy.
[JACK LOOKS OVER AT ARTEMUS. ARTEMUS IS BENT OVER HYPERVENTILATING.]
JACK: All right, I throw the dance! Stop!
[THE CHOREOGRAPHER TURNS OFF THE MUSIC.]
ARTEMUS: [OUT OF BREATH] If anybody finds a pin, I think it came out of my knee.
JANET: Jack, you're a very courageous man to stop a dance-off sponsored by Pennzoil.
JACK: Well, Janet, I love dancing, high-quality motor oil, and you. But... A good friend asked me something and I-- I may not understand why and... She's done a lot for me without asking questions. So, I-I really wanna do this for her.
KAREN: Well, it's nice that throw the dance for her, but you still wouldn't do it for me!?
JACK: Karen! This is for you.
KAREN: Oh, Jackie. Thank you. You're a good friend. Artemus, yay! You can keep your job. Let's go celebrate!
ARTEMUS: No can do. Sorry, we're through. I was only using you to get what I wanted. Now that I got that, what do I need you for?
JANET: Wait a minute. That--that gives me an idea. Can you say that again?
ARTEMUS: What do I need you for?
JANET: No, just the last part.
JANET: Four. That's a much more mystical number.
JACK: You're right, Miss Jackson. It is. It's the number of people in a ménage à trois, if one of them gets tired.
JANET: I only need four dancers. Artemus, Jack, I'm sorry. But you're both out. [TO HERSELF] Five! What was I thinking?
SCENE IX: Will's Apartment
[GRACE IS SITTING ON THE SOFA FLIPPING THROUGH HER WEDDING ALBUM. WILL IS ON THE PHONE, LEAVING A MESSAGE ON VINCE'S VOICE MAIL.]
WILL: [INTO PHONE] Hey, Vince. It's me again. I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry about lunch. Again. I-- I liked your Lieutenant. It was-- It was nice of him to say that I-I wasn't as big a sissy as as he thought I'd be. Anyway, call me.
[WILL HANGS UP THE PHONE.]
GRACE: You want a reminder of how good you have it? Come look at pictures of my wedding to a future adulterer.
WILL: Why don't you just cut his head out of the pictures like everybody else does and move on?
[THERE'S A LOUD KNOCK ON THE DOOR.]
GRACE: [SIGHS] Ugh. Now there's a visitor?
[WILL OPENS THE DOOR. VINCE ENTERS, OUT OF BREATH.]
WILL: Vince, what's going on?
VINCE: [BREATHING HARD] I was chasing a suspect past your building so I thought I'd come up. I got some anger I need to express. I was afraid if I out on the suspect, they'd suspend me again.
WILL: So, you're gonna beat me?
VINCE: I'm not mad at you, Will. I'm mad at Grace.
WILL: Yeah, beat her!
VINCE: [TO GRACE] You're too needy. And it's affecting my relationship with Will. So stop being so selfish!
GRACE: Whoa! I have sat up with this guy, listening to for years, [WHINING] "No one loves me. I can't get a date." And now I need him for a few weeks. And you've got a problem? You're the one who's selfish! I'm mad at you. How 'bout that?
VINCE: I reject your anger.
GRACE: I reject yours. [BLOWS RASPBERRY IN HIS FACE.]
VINCE: Will, tell her she's nuts.
GRACE: [MOCKING VINCE] Will, tell her she's bluh-uh...
VINCE: Hey, that's really, really mature. Stupid head.
WILL: Hey! Stop it, you two!
VINCE: You know, just pick somebody, Will.
GRACE: Yeah, pick someone. Me or stupid head.
VINCE: Stupid head's mine, stupid head. [TO WILL] Pick me.
WILL: That's crazy!
GRACE: Pick me.
WILL: I am not picking sides here.
VINCE: Pick someone, Will!
WILL: Okay, okay! I-- I pick my boyfriend. [WHISPERS TO GRACE] I really pick you.
VINCE: It's like a stage whisper. I can hear you.
WILL: Look, Vince, listen, I... Grace and I have been together a long time. So this tends to happen, you know... When you date Will, you... You kinda date Will and Grace.
GRACE: It's true.
VINCE: That's a bunch of crap. I'm not dating Grace. I'm dating you. But I want all of you and I won't settle for less. So when what you want, you call me.
[VINCE WALKS TO THE DOOR.]
GRACE: Wow. That's, like, the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to us.
WILL: I know. I don't want us to lose him.
WILL AND GRACE: [TOGETHER] Vince, wait!
[VINCE STOPS AT THE DOOR AND TURNS AROUND.]
WILL: I know what I want. I want you to stay. I want to work on this.
GRACE: I'll leave you guys alone. It's time that I put this away, anyway.
[GRACE PICKS UP HER WEDDING ALBUM.]
WILL: So, uh--
VINCE: [TO GRACE] Is that a wedding album? 'Cause I love those.
[VINCE TAKES THE ALBUM AND FLIPS IT OPEN.]
VINCE: [GROWLING] Mmmm.... That's a nice dress.
GRACE: Vera Wang.
VINCE: Do I look like I became gay yesterday?
WILL: Um, what-- What are you doing? I thought we were gonna figure this out.
VINCE: Yeah, later, Rude. We're looking at a wedding album.
WILL: Well, we haven't resolved anything. I mean, what if I can never pick a side?
VINCE: Yeah, that's one of your hot-button issues. You should work on that.
GRACE: Yeah, work on that, Will.
[VINCE AND GRACE SIT ON THE COUCH AND FLIP THROUGH THE ALBUM.]
VINCE: This is Leo?
VINCE: He looks shifty. Give me his license, I'll have his car booted.
GRACE: [TOUCHED] Thank you, Vince.
SCENE X: The Dance Rehearsal
[EVERYONE HAS LEFT EXCEPT FOR JACK AND KAREN.]
KAREN: I'm sorry about your job, Jackie. That was your dream.
JACK: Yeah. Well, you know... At least I got to dance with two of the three great superstar dancers of our time.
KAREN: Who's the third?
[JACK SMILES AT KAREN AND HOLDS HIS HAND OUT.]
KAREN: Oh, Jackie.
[KAREN TAKES JACK'S HAND AND THEY BEGIN SLOW DANCING.]
JACK: Oh, to answer your question? Madonna.